Old Dog Learns New Tricks

I am a writer.

My dream of writing and getting a book published finally came true. Soldiers From the Mist (http://www.tinyurl.com/cd77w8b)  was released in March 2011 from the High Hill Press AND my second book, The Rook and The Raven (http://www.tinyurl.com/CSS92ud) was released from The Wild Rose Press February 2012.  Not only that, but I’m working on two more best sellers, The Legend of Dixie Dandelion and The Church of the Howling Moon.

The Rook and The Raven

Soldiers FromThe Mist

I was under the delusion that once I got a book published, I’d have it made in the shade.  Those royalty checks would roll in like the tide.  Movie producers would trample themselves getting to my front door.  I do lunch with Oprah and Ellen. I’d quit my day job.

Wrong!

I found out that writing a book is the easiest part of the writing game.  It’s what comes after “The End” that makes an author stark, raving loony tunes—Promotion! 

Big signing parties thrown by New York publishers are a thing of the past.  If you want to sell books and get everyone buzzing, you have to promote.  And where do you promote?  The Internet of course. 

Social media is fast becoming a four-letter word for me.  Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter, oh my!  Blogs, tweets, and posts, oh my! This old dog has to learn new tricks. 

OH MY!!!!!

It’s not that I’m a stupid dog, quite the contrary, I’m fairly intelligent.  I can rollover and sit up with the best of em’,  And speak? My bark demands respect. Nope, brains aren’t the problem.  So what’s wrong?  Why can’t I figure out how to add an author page to Facebook? Why do words such as link and pin cause cold sweat to run down the back of my neck?  Just what the car fur is wrong??????????????

Do you think it could possibly be my attitude that is causing this aversion to conquering the land of the Internet? 

Ok.  I can learn this social media crap. Just watch me. I’ll tweet with the birds and post with the . . .  the . . . well, whoever you post with.  I can do it.  I honestly can.  But first, I have to trot down to the store.

  I need a new box of milk bones!

Ode to the Hamburger

I wanted something good for lunch.  Something simple.  Something tasty.  But what?   

Left-over spaghetti?  No. Not in the mood. 

Turkey? Yuck.  

 Apples? Watermelon?  Not filling enough.

Hamburger?  Perfect.

Wikipedia describes the classic hamburger as a sandwich of cooked (of course) ground beef patty placed inside a sliced bread roll. Everyone knows that.  Who first came up with this wonder sandwich?  Some say Fletcher Davis sold them at his café in Texas in the 1880’s and sold them at the 1904 St Louis World Fair.  Others claim different.  Who cares?

What restaurant has the best?  Delmonico’s in New York offered the burger on its menu in 1826.  McDonalds? Burger King?  Dairy Queen? Sonic?  My vote is for the one grilled in the backyard on an old charcoal grill.  No propane. 

My brother grew-up on hamburgers.  He ate 15 at one sitting when the Burger Broil first opened in Fayetteville, Arkansas.  Fifthteen cents a burger. What a deal.  He later sat the Fayetteville High Vocational School record, eating 20 at one time.

It isn’t important to me who invented the burger, where or when it was sold.  The main point is nothing is better than a grilled hamburger complete with cheese, lettuce, pickle, onion, and tomato.  Nothing.

Except bologna and cheese.